Sunday, May 19, 2013

on love and finding love

ok so today i want to talk a little bit about love and finding love. i want to talk about my fears when it came to love and the love that Jesus led me to. there was a certain time in my life where i truly wondered if i would ever marry without settling. i never dated much before bryan but i knew that the others just weren't right for me but i was afraid that it was as good as it was going to get. i was certain that i would never find someone who had a relationship with God, someone who was patient enough to put up with me, someone who would change me for the better, and even someone who i was attracted to. in the end it was nothing more than a lack of faith i had in Jesus. when i started to trust him... along came bryan. bryan, bryan, bryan i even just love to say his name :) i have never met someone so perfect to share my laughter with, my fears, my secrets, my life! i am in awe of the person he is and the love that he has for me. everyday he makes me strive to be a better person because well, he's a better person than i am. all my life i have kind of struggled with my temper. when things don't go my way it bothers me and sometimes i can't seem to just shut up about it. now that my parents don't have to deal with it anymore my poor husband does. despite this flaw in me he is constantly here to show me patience and what its like to have a little. i am serious, his patience is unmatched. each time i try to go to bed angry i go to bed smiling instead. on the days that i let anxiety take over he is there to be brave for me. he is there to show me how to be brave and that fear is nothing more than a thought. each time i go to him in tears he holds me until i am laughing instead of crying. he doesn't let me do things like bring work home with me. if i start to bad mouth someone that i can't stand at work he tells me i'm wrong which is sometimes so hard to hear but it is so needed. my husband is so amazing in all of these things that he does but he is also there to just be my best friend. he is hilarious and handsome. he does the sweetest things for me like leaving me little notes or sitting through a two-hour broadway musical with me. and even though he wouldn't believe me if he read this but he makes me feel more and more beautiful everyday. everyday bryan's love for me helps me to understand God's love for me. the fact that God loves me enough to send someone so perfectly fit for me puts my mind in a trance. but the Lord is so faithful and in the world that we live in today you have to have faith IN him. i am telling you that you do not have to settle and that you deserve the best of the best. there is a person that was specifically designed for you and if you put your trust in Jesus and wait upon him these things will come to you when all seems hopeless.